Back To Work

Monday was my first day back at work- and I dreaded it. All who know me know that working is an essential part of me – I haven’t ever not worked, with the exception of the seven months during our move from Idaho to Florida to Virginia. I enjoy working, I like my job and like being good at my job. I also truly believe that I am a better mother when I spend some time away from Hailey. When I had Hailey I was ready to go back to work around 10 weeks, and didn’t think twice about the decision.

That has not been the case this time, and I struggled with the decision to return. Jon and I are definitely in a position financially that would make it possible for me to stay home and for the first time that thought appeals to me. However, I have an excellent job and am not sure that I am ready to give it up. We don’t know when we will move again or where we will move to; therefore I don’t know if it will be possible for me to work when we move. Not knowing what the future holds makes me think twice about giving up the really great position I have right now. On the other hand, I really enjoy being home with our girls, and don’t want to miss any moment of this time. I will never get it back, and there will most likely be other jobs.

I know myself well enough that I know I needed to go back to work and experience our new reality before making a decision. Our babysitter, Mrs Jen is fabulous and loves Hailey and Aubrey. I know they are well cared for and happy, and that has made this transition bearable. My wonderfully understanding boss has agreed to letting me work a 36 hour work week which enables me to be done working at 4PM on Monday thru Thursday and still work my half day on Friday. That extra hour with the girls gives me time to spend playing with them, rather than rushing home with just enough time to feed them, bathe them, and get them in bed. This is only the third day, and yesterday was really tough, so I don’t think I can say how I feel about it yet.