My on-going childcare drama

Sometimes I wonder if I imagine the drama in my life, create it, or if I just have bad luck – especially when it comes to childcare. Or maybe I am just really hard to please – which then leads me to wonder if I should be a stay at home mom, which would ultimately eliminate this problem. I might lose my mind and have new drama, however, so I generally don’t think about that alternative too much. This last episode in my on-going search for perfect childcare made me question my commitment to being a working mom more than usual, and I struggled with it. I am probably still struggling with it, but I am hoping the current resolution will be “the one”!

When we had Hailey, I went back to work after approx 10 weeks, and Hailey went to a daycare establishment in Mountain Home. At first, they were great and her primary care lady did a great job with her. As time went by, Hailey became such an un-demanding baby (and as I write that sentence I am wondering what happened to that pleasant little girl – she certainly can NOT be the defiant and headstrong almost 3 yr old I know today) that if you didn’t wake her up and attempt to feed her, she would sleep, sleep, sleep, and never really eat. She never cried – and I mean never – not once that I can remember did she ever cry because she was hungry, tired, or wanted held. Well, the daycare people were not being attentive enough to laid back baby Hailey and she was being allowed to sleep all day and not fed every 3 hours like she needed to be. At the same time, we were getting ready to move, so two of my good friends took over watching her for the last weeks I worked in Idaho. She was about six months old when I ceased working, and because we had to move to Florida for 4 months and then to Virginia, I was at home with Hailey until she was 13 months old. I can honestly say I enjoyed that time with her, and was grateful that it worked out that I was a SAHM during those fundamental months. When I finally landed my current job, I had just come to terms with the fact that I may not find a job, and was really starting to embrace my SAHM job. But, I was meant to work, and this perfect job came along, so back to work I went, and we put Hailey in a daycare right down the street from my work. It was quite the adjustment for her, but she was ok, and we were happy with the daycare. Of course, she continued to get older, and eventually she switched to a new room, with a new teacher. We were fortunate, again, as Hailey loved that teacher. But then, everyone’s schedules at the daycare changed, and she wasn’t with her favorite teacher most of the time, and the people taking care of her were changing on an almost bi-weekly basis. Hailey started having melt downs almost immediately when I would pick her up, and we spent most of our evenings trying to calm her down. At this same time, my sister had just had her daughter, was returning to work and decided to switch from a standard daycare to an in-home provider. I like to do whatever my sister does, so I went to Craigslist and looked. I almost immediately found our current sitter and after we went to meet her, Jon and I both had a feeling of calm, and knew that it was the right move for Hailey – who was 22 months at the time. By the second day, she didn’t want to come home with me when I picked her up, and I felt more at ease than I had ever felt.

Well, its been over a year since then, and lots of things have changed. We still love our sitter and think she does a fantastic job with Hailey. She is very well taken care of and happy, and loves to be there, as much as she loves to be with us. But, the husband was laid off about 8 months ago, is still out of work, and things have become questionable. There were always little things that bothered me, but I try to be understanding, and patient, and keep hoping for things to go back to normal. But they haven’t – and they are now watching 9 small children and 4 after school care kids. There are constantly extra people around, and we didn’t see how they were going to be able to care for our new baby AND all of those kids. I talked to her about my concerns, and things seemed to improve, but then she started watching the ninth toddler, and that was my breaking point. There are a bunch of other reasons - like a pregnant dog, the addition of a bunny, smoking, but starting on Monday, Hailey will be going to a new sitter. It was a hard decision, but my gut told me that we needed to make a change.

Yes, I found the new sitter on craigslist too, and yes I know this is risky. But, I think its going to be good – I hope so anyway. She just quit her job to become a SAHM, and she is only going to watch her own son, Hailey, and another baby. Starting in September when I go back to work, she will watch the new baby, and Hailey will be going to preschool three days a week so she will only be there part time. The babysitter's name is Jen ( so of course she is fantastic) and she has a degree in therapeutic recreation and has been working in a nursing home for the past two years – so she is obviously a patient person, and well educated, and a mom. Hailey seemed very comfortable with her, and we are going to see her several times this weekend to try and help the transition go smoothly next week. I have high hopes for this!