My good friends who have 3 kids often tell me that one to two is hard but two to three is no problem. I do not intend to find out if going from 2 to 3 is no prob...I will just accept my beloved big sister's word on that...you can just let me know, Sister!
My mom was here for the first three weeks and it was a huge help to have an extra set of hands. By the time she left I think we were nervously ready to handle it on our own. We had a lot of company (3 weeks straight starting less than 24 hours after getting home from the hospital) which we enjoyed and appreciated, but I felt like I needed to do everything myself to accept that I am capable.
I keep reminding myself that everybody else has two kids and manages, and also that I need to enjoy Aubrey as an infant because we have no intention of having another baby. (I reserve the right to change my mind, but really don't think we will. And yes, I know I said that Hailey was going to be an only child...but I mean it this time - 2 is enough and sisters are perfect) Reminding myself to enjoy Aubrey really works - if I find myself getting frustrated because I can't get anything done while holding a screaming/sleeping/eating infant I just think about that and enjoy how tiny she is instead! I have also started doing everything that needs to be done (cleaning, dishes, wash bottles, laundry, play with Hailey, take a shower...) at the first opportunity instead of putting it off till later. I am not worrying about it then, but I also pretty much never sit down...unless I am feeding the baby!
I think Aubrey is a relatively normal baby. She cries when she is unhappy and sometimes just because, and prefers to be held at all times, especially at night. Jon and I have developed a sleeping routine that works well for us...I go to bed right after we get Hailey in bed and sleep for about 3 hours while he cares for Aubrey in the living room. Between midnight and 1 am I switch with him, and go sleep sitting up with the baby on the couch and he goes to bed. It is a great plan, till you throw in the wrench called Hailey. The munchkin has always been a great sleeper, but has taken to getting up every hour or two for an array of reasons that she cooks up. It is extremely frustrating for me to successfully get Aubrey to sleep in her bassinet thingy and be in the middle of my 2.5 hours of desperately needed couch sleep and have to get up multiple times to return Hailey to her bed. Not to mention, this means Hailey is not sleeping well, and Hailey needs her sleep. She still takes a 2 hour nap everyday and is ready for bed by 8:30.
I am very thankful that I have a rare 3 yr old who needs and wants her naps.
Because Hailey is waking up every 1-2 hours, she isn't getting proper rest and has been more than difficult to manage during the day (which is the cause of the massive tantrums). I need to read in my sleep book about the effects of a new sibling and also about toddler nightmares. I put it on the to-do list. We think it is a combination of these things, and also the fact that Hailey is an extremely light sleeper and wakes up when she hears the baby crying and us moving around downstairs.
Last night Jon and I switched sleep times and he went to bed early and took the 2 am till morning shift on the couch. When I got up this morning I found him sleeping sitting up and holding a very happy and snuggly little Aubrey in one arm and a sprawled out Hailey fast asleep on the couch next to him. He says he decided it was better to just let her sleep on the couch than have to keep putting her back in bed. Survival. If I had done that I would have been subjected to one of his parenting book lectures. It has taken me three days to write this entry and since the first day we have given up on Hailey and just let her sleep on the couch with the rest of us. Its a good thing its a really big couch :)
I am very thankful for my husband. He is a wonderful father and extremely supportive. His attitude through all of this has been great and he is still managing to work a standard 11 - 14 hour day.
You are doing awesome. You are saying all the right stuff and doing what you need to do for your family-that's all that matters. 3 is easier...you have an older one to help out! Seriously, it is also just different, and like you've said, you figure out what works to keep as many people in the house sane. The theme for 2 is certainly "survival" and you are right---sisters are perfect. Enjoy it... sounds like you are. Oh yeah, I've heard "4 is easier than 3" but we don't plan on finding out either.
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