1-2-3 Magic

Having a tea party with her Barbies

I have very few hobbies. Before Hailey, I am not really sure what I did with my time...work I guess. If I listed my hobbies now, I would say they are internet shopping, playing Barbies, exercising, cooking, and reading. I haven't exercised in months, consider Hamburger Helper to be "cooking", and don't have very much time to read anymore - but I do love to read. Before I had Hailey I bought a bunch of parenting books and learned a lot from them. My favorites from that time are Happiest Baby on the Block (which really did not apply to Hailey at all, but I have already found useful with Aubrey) and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child - that book is amazing and I recommend it to anyone who has kids and will listen to me. As Hailey grew and developed I ordered and read more books...Touchpoints (it was ok) The Strong Willed Child (completely disagree with this philosophy), and The Happiest Toddler on the Block ( pretty good). In general, Hailey is a very good little girl and fairly manageable, but she is the queen of manipulation and negotiation and will try to "win" to the extreme that she doesn't even really want whatever it is that she is trying to win by the time she feels she succeeds or just gives up. After we returned from our St Thomas vacation she went thru a period where she just did not want to do anything that she was supposed to without a fight. It was exhausting and we had no idea what to do with her...so to Amazon.com I went for some book shopping. A while back my friend Andrea who is a school psychologist mentioned the book 1-2-3 Magic to me, so after research I bought it and started to read it. I also strategically placed it in the reading material basket in the bathroom...

That is the last time I will do that!

Jon started to read the book and fell in love with it. In the past, I read the books, and then tell him what they say. Then I complain how he never reads the books. I will never complain again - I prefer it that way. This book is now his guide to all discipline, and while it works - like magic - there have been many moments where I want to smack him with that book!

I can't relay in this post all of the wonderful points in 123 Magic, so I won't even try...but it is really easy and works well. It addresses "stop" behaviors, which are easy and start behaviors which are more difficult. Jon chooses to use a kitchen timer to motivate Hailey for the start behaviors. The timer's clicking irritates me, but she seems to like it. However, she is so smart she figured out quickly that she could turn the timer to the end and make it "ding" and we were so amazed with her 3 yr old ingenuity we couldn't help but laugh and give her what she was waiting for.

For the most part the book is close to how we choose to discipline anyway, but helped us tweak some areas where we were not very effective - primarily, we talk too much. We want to explain everything to Hailey like she is a little adult and forget that she is 3.

Somewhere, hiding deep beneath my postpartum hormones, I am happy we both read it and are using it, but I think maybe changing our parenting style the same week we brought a new baby home and had a bazillion visitors might have been a little bit too much change for the munchkin. She responded just fine, but it caused a lot of tears for this mommy...I can't stand to see her unhappy!

Things are definitely smoother around here as far as Hailey is concerned, but having both Mommy and Daddy at home for the last 2 1/2 weeks has been a big change for her. I am nervous for Jon to return to work next week, but sure I will adjust.