1-2-3 Magic

Having a tea party with her Barbies

I have very few hobbies. Before Hailey, I am not really sure what I did with my time...work I guess. If I listed my hobbies now, I would say they are internet shopping, playing Barbies, exercising, cooking, and reading. I haven't exercised in months, consider Hamburger Helper to be "cooking", and don't have very much time to read anymore - but I do love to read. Before I had Hailey I bought a bunch of parenting books and learned a lot from them. My favorites from that time are Happiest Baby on the Block (which really did not apply to Hailey at all, but I have already found useful with Aubrey) and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child - that book is amazing and I recommend it to anyone who has kids and will listen to me. As Hailey grew and developed I ordered and read more books...Touchpoints (it was ok) The Strong Willed Child (completely disagree with this philosophy), and The Happiest Toddler on the Block ( pretty good). In general, Hailey is a very good little girl and fairly manageable, but she is the queen of manipulation and negotiation and will try to "win" to the extreme that she doesn't even really want whatever it is that she is trying to win by the time she feels she succeeds or just gives up. After we returned from our St Thomas vacation she went thru a period where she just did not want to do anything that she was supposed to without a fight. It was exhausting and we had no idea what to do with her...so to Amazon.com I went for some book shopping. A while back my friend Andrea who is a school psychologist mentioned the book 1-2-3 Magic to me, so after research I bought it and started to read it. I also strategically placed it in the reading material basket in the bathroom...

That is the last time I will do that!

Jon started to read the book and fell in love with it. In the past, I read the books, and then tell him what they say. Then I complain how he never reads the books. I will never complain again - I prefer it that way. This book is now his guide to all discipline, and while it works - like magic - there have been many moments where I want to smack him with that book!

I can't relay in this post all of the wonderful points in 123 Magic, so I won't even try...but it is really easy and works well. It addresses "stop" behaviors, which are easy and start behaviors which are more difficult. Jon chooses to use a kitchen timer to motivate Hailey for the start behaviors. The timer's clicking irritates me, but she seems to like it. However, she is so smart she figured out quickly that she could turn the timer to the end and make it "ding" and we were so amazed with her 3 yr old ingenuity we couldn't help but laugh and give her what she was waiting for.

For the most part the book is close to how we choose to discipline anyway, but helped us tweak some areas where we were not very effective - primarily, we talk too much. We want to explain everything to Hailey like she is a little adult and forget that she is 3.

Somewhere, hiding deep beneath my postpartum hormones, I am happy we both read it and are using it, but I think maybe changing our parenting style the same week we brought a new baby home and had a bazillion visitors might have been a little bit too much change for the munchkin. She responded just fine, but it caused a lot of tears for this mommy...I can't stand to see her unhappy!

Things are definitely smoother around here as far as Hailey is concerned, but having both Mommy and Daddy at home for the last 2 1/2 weeks has been a big change for her. I am nervous for Jon to return to work next week, but sure I will adjust.

The Long and Short of the Arrival of Aubrey Cecelia Snyder

I mentioned in my previous post that I had a doctor appointment last Thursday, and that I would update if anything interesting developed. Well, it wasn't interesting then, but it is now !

At that appointment I was dilated to 3 cm and both the doctor and I were very happy with that. She said that she expected that my water would break or labor would begin before my scheduled delivery on July 13th. I was excited, but nervous because I had big plans with Hailey for the weekend, and I didn't want to disappoint

her!

I only worked a few hours on that Friday and after we nap time we went to Busch Gardens. Our extremely hot weather had let up that day and it was beautiful outside. We walked all over and I even rode a few kiddie rides, but most importantly we saw fireworks, and were able to check that off of Haileys to-do list.

The next morning we got an early start and made it to the zoo for Member Only Hours. It was fantastic - the animals were all active and there were hardly any people there. We walked and walked, and after that we went to the mall to look for sneakers for Jon (his are over two years old and his toes are escaping the fronts, but he can't seem to find any he likes) and walked some more. That afternoon we went to see Toy Story 3, which was very good but slightly traumatic for Hailey, who really does not like to throw anything away.

..

On Sunday, the 4th of July, we started the day with a walk around the development and then went over to the park and rented a paddle boat to go fishing with. I paddled that boat all over the "lake" ( a word I use loosely, considering I grew up near Lake Erie) That night I started having stronger contractions,but they didn't intensify and would stop if I switched positions.

Monday morning brought more contractions, but I called the hospital and they told me to take some tylenol and drink some water...so I followed their directions, and then we went to Water Country. I decided to try out a water slide, and other than a strange look from the teenage life guard at the top of the kiddie slide and my inability to get OFF the tube at the bottom of th

e slide, we had a great time, but still no baby!

The point of the story above is that we tried and tried to help the baby along, but to no avail, and on Tuesday we all went to work. My contractions were definitley getting more annoying on Tuesday, but I was still able to get them to stop or at least ease up, which meant (according to my self diagnosis with the aid of the internet) that they were false contractions. Tuesday was always meant to be my last day of work and its a good thing!

Hailey was very excited that Mommy didn't have to go to work on Wednesday. We spent the morning hanging out at the house and watching TV, and then we went to Target to buy a new Barbie doll. We ended up with three barbie dolls and a Barbie Corvette, and my contractions weren't bad at all, especially if I was moving. We went home to eat lunch and were sitting on the couch getting ready for nap time, when Hailey used my belly as a ledge to help her stand up. I was in the middle of explaining why she couldn't do that when I felt the baby move and a giant whoosh feeling that I cannot describe and will never forget - my water broke! To say the

least, Hailey was a little freaked out and didn't understand why mommy "spilled" her water. I picked up my cell phone to call Jon, but couldn't get through to him, so I called my friend Candie. It had only been about 2 minutes, but I was pretty sure that I was not going to be able to drive Hailey anywhere and get myself to the hospital. Fortunately Candie was in her car with her three kids and immediately headed my direction. I then called Jon's squadron, who also did not really know where he was, but they connected me to one of the guys who assured me that they would find him and send him home. At this point I am still kind of leaking water, Hailey is following me around trying to figure out what is going on, and my contractions are intensifying, but because I had been having so many and for so long, I wasn't too worried. I called Labor and Delivery to tell them that we would be in shortly and told Hailey to go get a bag and pack up some of her toys to take with her to Candies. She thought that was a great idea and scampered off to get the biggest bag she could find from under the sink and packed up her new Barbies and Barbie car. Candie was here in under 10 minutes and took care of getting Hailey ready to go and then helped me get my stuff together...I was still having trouble getting connected to Jon but had received a text message that he was on his way home and he got here and changed and we were off to the hospital. My contractions were definitely getting worse and I was scared, but knew I would be calmer once we got to the hospital...and I was for about 3 minutes.

The rest is kind of a blurry whirlwind. Later I looked at my phone to see what time I had called Candie - it was 11:47. I also remem

ber looking at the clock in my car in the parking lot when we got to the hospital and it read 12:25. Aubrey's official birth time is 1:24. In between 12:25 and 1:24 I managed to go from calmly walking in and getting weighed ( I was still making jokes at this point...told the girl I didn't need to be weighed, that the answer is ALOT), being checked by a nurse who immediately called for a midwife and an ultrasound machine who verified that I was fully dilated and the baby was breech, to being rushed to surgery and having a c-section with half of my normal clothes on, as there was no time to change into proper hospital attire. Fortunately they were able to give me a spinal block and not use general anesthesia, so I was able to be awake. It was a bit scary and a lot painful, but it all turned out just fine and we have a 6lb 15oz baby girl. I am recovering from this c-section much faster than I did the first one and was up walking by 11 PM that night. Its been 5 days now, and I still have a lot of pain, but am doing well. Aubrey had a weight check yesterday and was 6lbs 9 oz and is doing well. She likes to spit up a lot but is pretty good sleeper so far, and likes to be held and talked to.

All of these pictures are out of chronological order, but if I spend anymore time trying to fix them, no one will even care to read this blog...so just start at the bottom!

Waiting to be discharged and helping feed the baby

First Family Photo - too bad the mommy is all drugged up

First Kiss

Meeting her big sister for the first time

First picture with mommy and daddy

Brand New Baby!

Right before the baby is "born"

No Real Change

Yup, it will be a miracle if I make it thru this week of work…and not because I think I will have this baby. I KNOW people are just trying to be nice and make conversation, but I have been at work for ONE and one-half hours and at least 10 people have asked me “You haven’t had that baby yet?!”

No, I had her, I just still look obscenely pregnant and decided to come to work today. Come ON people…

I had a doctor appointment on Friday afternoon and the nurse practitioner said that I am a “one”. That is exciting for me because with Hailey I never dilated at all…so the fact that I have any change is encouraging. I also treated myself to a pregnancy massage on Friday. It was nice, but did not have the desired outcome of producing a baby.

On Saturday we went to Bennett’s first birthday party. Bennett is the son of Mrs Jen, Hailey’s beloved babysitter. Hailey was a very good girl at the party and got to open most of Bennett’s presents for him, because he lost interest. After the party we had to go to a squadron farewell, which meant that Hailey needed to stay with a babysitter. She was a bit confused as to why we were leaving Mrs Jen’s to go home so that a different babysitter could watch her. Our teenage neighbor Jazmin is our babysitter on the rare occasion we go somewhere without the Munchkin. Hailey loves “Princess Jaz” but has a tendency to freak out when we attempt to leave. I am never sure if I should tell her in advance that Jazmin is going to come over to play, or wait till its time…sometimes she gets excited for it, and other times she worries about it all day. We opted to tell her on the way to the birthday party that after the party mommy and daddy had to go to a work thing and that Princess Jaz was going to come play with her. She started to fret, but when we got home and Jaz came over, she was completely fine with it. She didn’t even cry and said “bye, MOM!” as we left. She fell asleep on the couch, so when we got home Jon carried her up to bed and she woke up enough to tell me “ I was being a really good girl for you, Mama!” and then went back to sleep.

Jon and I both have very busy weeks at work this week, so if the baby would decide to arrive it would be great (as we wouldn’t be ABLE to be at work) but bad because we would be leaving a lot of unfinished business. I am pretty sure that I am not going to work next week, but reserve the right to change my mind. We signed Hailey up for gymnastics on Tuesdays, she has swim lessons on Fridays and a parent/child soccer league on Saturday mornings, and the gymnastics and soccer start next week - swimming is an ongoing event. She is very excited for soccer with Daddy, pretty much hates her swim lessons, and I don’t think she really knows what gymnastics is, but I think she will like it. The point of the previous sentence is that even if I don’t have a baby this weekend like I would like to, I have a bazillion activities for Hailey starting next week and don’t have time to go to work….hmmm….

My next doctor appointment is Thursday morning...I'll update then if anything exciting develops! Right now I need to go buy a new light & sound machine because we accidentally broke Hailey's last night when we were reading and PERFORMING Nursery Rhymes...Old Mother Hubbard...when the dog stands on his head...In her attempt at a handstand her leg got caught in the cord and it went smashing to the floor. Quite the little disaster.

Isn't She Gorgeous?

Hailey's Photo shoot

www.frecklephotography.com

DAD-DY

When Hailey says "Daddy" she says it in a little singsong voice and emphasizes the "d's". Its cute, and one of the many many things we love....

When Jon and I were putting the crib together and setting up the baby’s room last weekend, he wasn’t acting very excited - but Hailey was more than making up for his lack of enthusiasm. She thinks everything that has to do with her baby sister is fantastic, and I can’t wait to see her meet the baby for the first time…I think I am more excited for THAT moment than the moment I meet her myself. Lately when we ask her what we should name the baby she says “Hailey Jessica Snyder Too, because it’s a good name!”

I asked Jon if he would be more excited if the baby was a boy and he said yes. Sometimes his honesty is a bit blatant! I know he wants a boy, but he is such a great father to Hailey, I actually have a hard time understanding how he could NOT want another princess. He says its not that he doesn’t want another girl, he just already has one, so he would like to have a boy too, so we have variety. When we had our ultrasound the tech seemed certain that the baby is a girl, and Jon said he is certain too. I think there is one picture that is decidedly inconclusive. That combined with the detail that the Radiologists report does not actually say what the sex of the baby is and the odd amount of complete strangers who inform me that my baby is a boy has definitely made me wonder. I am carrying this baby very different than I carried Hailey, and SHE is very low. About once a day if I am out in public, someone will say, “you are having a boy, right?” I know that you can’t tell from how a baby is carried, but the quantity of people who say that to me is astounding!

How would I feel if the baby turns out to be a boy? I think it would be funny, and fine. I certainly WANT a girl and want Hailey to have a sister, but would be happy with a boy too…have no idea what we would name him, but we would figure it out, and fortunately my nephew was born in the same season, so baby boy clothes are easy to acquire from my sisters house. Mostly I think Hailey would be a bit confused…but she wouldn’t care…she just wants a baby.

Jon has been exceptionally busy at work with his IPUG rides, and IPUG is a long, painful process. Fortunately he is not taking any masters classes right now, so when he is home, he gets to spend time with us, which is good because Hailey goes into Daddy withdrawal if he isn’t there. Each day as we drive into our subdivision she says “I hope Dad-dy is home” and if we turn our corner and his truck isn’t there she says “No Daddy”…its very sad. If he isn’t home by bedtime I have to promise her that he will go up and give her a kiss. On the weekends she is glued to him and helps him do anything he is doing. They have taken up fishing – not that they ever catch anything, but she loves it anyway. They went to Bass Pro Shop to get a fishing rod for her, and I was expecting them to return with a little kid one, but instead Jon opted for one they could both use…its sparkly pink and has a matching sparkly pink tackle box. Like I said, not sure why he thinks he needs a son when he has so completely embraced being the Daddy to a princess.

We have season passes to both Water Country and Busch Gardens, and have been to Water Country 3 times already. It is entirely too hot for me at Busch Gardens, so we have yet to go there. Water Country is very easy to go to and get into, and Hailey loves the water. I am not allowed on the big slides in my condition, but I can chase her around the kid areas…sort of…I am not very fast moving these days…

I told Jon we weren’t celebrating Father’s Day because he forgot Mother’s Day, but Hailey and Mrs Jen made him a card and she was so excited about it, I couldn’t not celebrate. We got Jon a cookie cake (mostly because I really wanted it) and she had a lot of fun telling him “Happy Father’s Day”. When she woke up this morning she said, sadly, ”Its not Happy Fathers Day anymore?” She was ok when I told her that there was cookie cake in her lunch box.

Oh, the Fabulous experiences I have at the women's health clinic...

I am 35 weeks pregnant, have gained over 40 pounds, its hot, humid, I am tired and cranky, my husband works ridiculous hours and my daughter is in one of her very “headstrong” phases. Honestly, this is me trying not to complain!

Before we left on vacation I was finally “allowed” to make an appointment with a doctor to talk about delivery options, and that appointment was on June 4th. At that appointment, the doctor I was scheduled to see was not actually working that day (I was told it was a scheduling error) but another doctor was going to see me. They took me back and put me in a room, where I sat so long the motion sensored lights went off. Eventually the girl came back to tell me that the doctor looked at the schedule and the doctor who WOULD be on call around my due date was not her, but another doctor that I had never seen (big surprise there) and therefore she thought I should just reschedule and come back to see that doctor. So, regardless of the fact that I had to leave work early for this appointment and had already been there for an hour, I went out to reschedule, only to find that that doctor didn’t have any appointments for the entire month of June. They went to find her, and she agreed to see me on her admin day, which was this morning.

At this point I can only find the humor in what will happen at my visits to the doctor. Its not the doctors and NP's though...they are great and I like them all very much...

Jon, Hailey and I all went to my appointment this morning. Other than having to wait an extra 30 minutes while they tried to locate my chart that was missing, it was a good appointment and I liked the doctor very much. I thought Hailey would like to hear the baby's heartbeat, but she covered her ears and said it was too loud.

We discussed all of my options and she helped us decide to schedule to have our baby on July 13th, which is the day after I am due. I am not definitely going to have a VBAC and I am not definitely going to have a c- section. She was more than happy to let us get closer to that day and see how I am progressing, and basically reassured me that we can try to have a VBAC, and that I will be monitored and they won’t let it go 24 hours with 4 hours of pushing like the last time – it will either work or it won’t, and if it doesn’t they will quickly make the decision to do the c-section. She also said that if I don’t have her on my own by the 13th and if I am “favorable” on that day, she would try to induce me first and see what happens.
Basically she is doing exactly what I hoped for – the only thing that would be better would be if she could magically tell me that it was going to work or not and what the “right” answer is. I don’t think that’s too much to ask :)

Oh, and they did eventually locate my chart, but the paperwork I needed to turn into my work so that I don't lose my job while on maternity leave was missing...

I keep reminding myself how lucky we are that our medical benefits are "free".

St Thomas

Day 1 “Why are we getting up before the sun?”
I have a tendency to book airplane flights at the most painful times offered, and this trip is no exception. We had to get up at 3:35 in the morning to leave for the airport by 4:15, and as is also typical of me, we didn’t finish packing till around midnight the night before. BUT, we only had one connection and were on the beach by 4 PM that day! In my opinion, which is the only one that counts, it was worth it!
At the wise old age of three, Hailey is a seasoned traveler. She was great on the airplanes, and overall well behaved and very excited to go to St Thomas. Jon and I decided that we were going to “accidentally” lose Hailey’s paci on this trip which could have been a disaster, but she adjusted very quickly and very well – I don’t think she even cried. I received m any compliments on her behavior, and no comments on how pregnant I am - so I was happy!
Immediately upon entering our hotel room she took all her clothes off and was requesting her swimsuit. I was exhausted and starving, but we went to the beach anyway, and within minutes found Uncle Chris and Aunt Ruth (aka the Groom and Bride) and Jon’s good friend Ali (aka “Princess Ali” and the wedding photographer).
We did eventually get to eat that day – and we ate at a prime rib and lobster buffet that was fantastic and worth the wait. After dinner we found Nana and Papa, and after saying hello, Hailey and I left Jon with his family and friends and went back to our VERY NICE hotel room to get some much needed rest! I knew bedtime would the hardest adjustment for Hailey without her paci. I hoped that as she would be sleeping with us for the duration of our vacation it would help ease her into, and after a little bit of protest which was mostly because she was extremely overtired, she slept just fine!

Day 2 “How did she learn to dance like that?!”
Hailey was awake and ready to go swimming at 6 AM. We managed to contain her for about an hour, but were in the pool very early. Nana, Papa, Aunt Beth and Ali all joined us (eventually) and Hailey had fun playing with Nana in the pool. It was nice to have so many extra people around to help entertain our little water bug. By lunchtime she was exhausted and fell asleep before her food made it to the table. Jon and I also had a nice nap that day, and I have to say that a mandatory nap time is a great part of vacationing with our Munchkin. I thoroughly enjoyed MY nap every day.

A welcome party was held that evening for the wedding guests at one of the many restaurants on the resort. Hailey was very tired, and it was very humid, but she loved dancing with everyone and was enamored with Aunt Ruth – who is a super fun girl and a wild and crazy dancer. Dancing is not one of Hailey’s parents talents and I don’t think she has ever seen grown ups dancing. Aunt Ruth quickly became her new favorite person in her world. The next morning after waking up and asking to go to the pool, she asked for Crazy Aunt Ruth, and then asked me “How she learn to dance like that? She’s Cwazy!”

Day 3 – Wedding Day!
As I mentioned above we -once again- started the day very early and were off to the pool. We are so used to being up at 5:30 everyday anyway, it isn’t really hard for us to be up that early, but we still like to reminisce about the days when we used to sleep in.
We met Uncle Chris and Ali for the best breakfast buffet I have ever had in my life, went for another dip in the pool, and then had our nap before starting preparations for the wedding. Ruth made arrangements for Hailey to have her hair and makeup done. Hailey was very excited about it, right up till we got there and she realized it was a stranger that was going to do her hair. I had to hold her, but we managed to get her hair done. Once she was in her flower girl tutu and Aunt Ruth was in her wedding dress Hailey was very excited. There were no attendants in the wedding, so Hailey was the entire wedding party. She had no idea what the flower girl was or what she was supposed to do. I tried to explain it to her in the days leading up to the wedding, but without a rehearsal, she had no frame of reference. Fortunately, the wedding was on the beach and casual, and Hailey looked so sweet it didn’t matter. She did walk down the aisle and she did throw the petals, but I had to go with her and hold the bag of petals for her.
I didn’t have Hailey’s 3 yr pictures taken because I asked Ali to take some pictures while we were in St Thomas and during the wedding. She is an amazing photographer who specializes in kids. Her style is exactly what I love, and I can not WAIT to see the pictures. Here is her website in case you are ever in Maryland and need a photographer, and I am sure at some point, Hailey’s pictures will be up. http://www.frecklephotography.com/

This is one of Ali's pictures that I stole from Facebook...hoping that I am not violating any copyright laws, but wanting to show how good she is.

The wedding was beautiful and we made it through both the ceremony and the reception without Hailey jumping in the ocean or the pool. Late in the evening after Hailey and I went to bed, Jon ended up in the pool, but not Hailey and as that was my one big worry, I am grateful. There was lots of dancing at the reception, and Jon and Hailey danced all night. It was very cute, and very pregnant me was happy to sit and watch. On the way back to our room I said to Hailey, “Wow, you really danced your little butt off!” And she replied, “I did? I’m not going to be able to go potty anymore?”

This is another of Ali's pictures...did I mention Cwazy Aunt Ruth is Jewish? Hailey thought this dance was especially great.

Like I said it was really hot, and Hailey was a dancing machine!

Day 4 – Move to Frenchman’s Cove
I am addicted to the internet and spend lots of time finding “stuff” online. I actually get frustrated when I don’t have anything to look up or research. I also really like to buy stuff and am most satisfied when I find a great deal. The deal I found for our St Thomas trip was one of my best finds ever. I stumbled across the deal in a pop up ad when I was looking for other – less expensive- accommodations for before/after the wedding. Basically, we qualified for a timeshare special that allowed us to stay in a 2-bedroom villa for 4 nights for $449. I called to see if was available during the time of the wedding – as the villas are part of the Marriott property that the wedding was held at. They were not, but they did have an opening starting the Sunday after the wedding. I hung up, called Jon to see what he thought and called back and booked it, and the nice agent on the phone gave me $50 off for calling him back. All we had to do was go to a 90 minute timeshare presentation during our stay. I am aware that these things can be terrible, but Jon and I were actually interested in the idea of a timeshare and didn’t mind learning more about it. We had no intention of buying one, but didn’t mind listening.
The villas were very nice and it was great to have a kitchen and laundry. The pool on the property was amazing, and had a water slide that Hailey just loved. The food was good and most things were convenient, but very expensive. We spent most of our days in the pool and relaxing. We all got a little sun burnt one day, but not too terribly, and Hailey acquired an earache from all her time in the water, but she didn’t let that hold her back.
We went to our mandatory timeshare presentation with absolutely no intention of buying anything. I knew within 20 minutes of being there that we were going to be making a purchase…and that was before I even knew the price. Because we were interested and both of us ask a lot of questions, our 90 minutes ended up being over 3 hours, but the end result is that Jon and I are the very happy owners of 1 week in St Thomas every year for the rest of our lives. It is not a set week, and we can trade it through another company and go wherever we want every year. We really couldn’t find any reason NOT to do it, so we did! I am pretty sure we will be heading to Hawaii about this time next year…St Thomas was nice, but Waikiki is the perfect vacation destination for me!

This is another of Ali's pictures, of the resort, that I think is just a neat picture.